Personal Reflections

Recent posts are shown first. Show posts chronologically to read things in order.

Open Relationships, Polyamory and U/us

Here, quick, let’s get the clichés out of the way: “The heart wants what it wants.” “Variety is the spice of life.” “We have a lot of love to give.” And let me skip to the end for a moment: we want to grow our family, to have a boyfriend / brother / boy / […]

Read This Post »

A Cuckolding: A Story of Surrender

Full surrender is not easy. It’s one thing to submit, and to serve, but to fully surrender my desires—and be Master’s tool for his own—can at times create such a divide between what I think I feel and what I should feel or what I believe. These are the times I fail at submission, when […]

Read This Post »

Sometimes I Think I Could Be a Switch

At Thunder earlier this summer, one of the seminars I went to was all about interrogation. It was a reasonably good discussion on the topic, though I was honestly only half paying attention because Sir was off buying a flogger and texting me questions. But as I’m listening and watching the presentation on various techniques—from the […]

Read This Post »

Service gives me Direction & Purpose

Yes—the sex is amazing, dancing on the edge of pain and pleasure is exhilarating, and my heart races every time I feel rope on my skin. But this is why I serve: because it motivates me toward a better and more fulfilled life. To become a boy I need to embrace and celebrate service outside of sex, and the pure joy it brings.

Read This Post »

Summertime Madness But We’re Still Here

We’re still here! And we’re still very much kinky. I’ve done a poor job of blogging this summer, mainly because I’ve been absolutely slammed with life, as usual, including travel to Tanzania from where I just got home. But regardless of what shows up on the blog—and there will be much more regular updates now […]

Read This Post »

What’s Past the Horizon?

When you accept and embrace who you are, it’s like dominos falling one after the other in mesmerizing automation. For Sir and I, every preconceived notion of who we are as men and as a couple has been challenged. If humans do not grow, they waste away. Stasis is not possible. Limits are acceptable, but facing them and pushing beyond them can reap returns hand over fist.

Read This Post »

What Have I Become?

What have I become? What’s happened to me? 10 years ago, I was so afraid of sex. I was pathologically afraid of disease and of getting hurt beyond what I thought I could do. The husband and I rarely fucked. We sucked some, did some frottage, but it took a long time and usually a […]

Read This Post »

That Urge At the Base of My Cock

(Yes, I’ll be posting more about my new relationship with Master … here’s a quickie) I’m on a business trip right now. Actually we have a family obligation in the same city where I have an office, so I came into town early and Master is joining me in two days. In the meantime, he […]

Read This Post »