The Archive

Before I submitted to Sir and restarted this blog, I was lost and exploring who I was and what I wanted. I had a variety of one-off encounters, many different thoughts and opinions, some fun erotica, and all of it was an important part of exploring who I was and who I was to become. Here are the posts from that era.

Archived Category: Archive

These are all the posts that came before I submitted to my husband and master. We’ve entered a new life together, so these posts are being put aside as I blog the future.

Recent posts are shown first. Show posts chronologically to read things in order.

Dinner is Served

A few weeks after our introductory encounter, my Dom/switch friend, “Rick,” and I met again. This time, he’d asked his boyfriend about my serving both of them, and his response was “Well, could he make and serve us dinner? It seems selfish but it’s kind of what I want.” Done deal! So I was to […]

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On Personal Growth, The Gym, and Taking Orders

I’ve mentioned before that I believe a man, and especially a boy, must continually work to improve himself and grow. Over the last couple of years, my two key areas of growth have been in my submission (however slow that process), and fitness. For the former, I might have more updates in the new year, […]

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Power Play in Public

Some men just exude power. I had coffee the other day with a Dom sort of guy. On the surface he was nice, very attractive, and generally on the up and up though private in his profile. Coffee is usually the first step, getting to know your Sir won’t be a deranged bully is important. […]

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Back in Service

I’ve been missing from this blog lately but that’s only because writing cogent and well thought out blog entries is really damn hard sometimes. But the reality, I hope you’ll be pleased to know, is that I’m really diving deep into my kink side again, and meeting more people and having more fun. I’ve had […]

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Another Way I Know I’m a Sub/Boy

There are lots of little vignettes of how I know – I mean how I truly know – that I’m a “boy.” I guess it’s a lot like the question of how one knows he’s gay. It just feels right, everything clicks, and performing the work or hearing the words just feels natural, it makes one feel […]

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Would You Rather?

Today I played a little game on my porno tumblr – people sent me Would You Rather? questions, and I answered them. It was fun! Especially since I was working from a coffee shop and had to use my laptop to hide my hard-on. Here’s the result! Would you rather … …spend the night in […]

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Damn! It Feels Good To Be Called “boy”

Last night was my and my husband’s anniversary. We’re not much for pomp so as usual we just spent the day together. My plan was to simply go to a nice dinner, then come home, share a shower and have him fuck me (never an easy task, he’s got a huge cock). So before we […]

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Shame, Kink, and Privacy

Leatherati has had some interesting articles lately on kink shame; and I’ve seen a (somewhat obnoxious) video floating around espousing the basic tenets of coming out as kinky to friends or family. And then yesterday rauber wrote a personal post about his own tussle with privacy over his kinky interests. So it all got me to thinking about my own perspective on kink, privacy, and shame.

Ever since I accepted that I was gay, I’ve not felt ashamed of myself. That didn’t mean I instantly came out of the closet, though. I have a life-long policy of not debating fundamentalists, or really even listening to them, so I didn’t outright tell my family not for fear or shame, but because I didn’t want to deal with their judgmental ignorance. But that was a mistake, because my being gay isn’t a phase, or a choice, or a passing interest. It’s my identity. Who I love is who I am. And those I loved deserved to know that. Today, I don’t exactly leave a glitter trail wherever I go, but I don’t shy away from describing my husband. This is a part of my identity, and I’m not ashamed of it.

But the fact is, I don’t apply the same standard to my kink. Yes, being a kinkster is a part of who I am, but I don’t feel the same need to announce it to everyone who passes by. Kink, leather, submission or BDSM do not make up the whole of my identity. What I do — in the bedroom, dungeon, conference, hotel — is not who I am. For most people, it’s none of their business. I don’t ask my family how they like to have sex, and I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business how I like to have sex. But if I was ever asked, or if the concept of kink and BDSM came up with friends (because it just never would with family … it just wouldn’t), I would defend it and describe it for those who are uninformed. Because I do believe that the kinky community is misunderstood and often maligned. And I would freely admit my interest, in context, because I’m not ashamed of it, I just enjoy my privacy.

Scene Names
In his article on the topic, Loren Berthelsen brings up a lot of concepts in a very short article. How do we deal with events, say, if going to IML and being asked why you’re traveling to Chicago. Do we just say “a convention” or do we describe exactly what IML is. And for that matter, what is IML? I think for those of us who travel to events like that, we are choosing to shed some of our right to privacy and have that responsibility to educate those who might be interested. But there’s a difference between being open and educational and ramming it down people’s throats. Just as those of us who wrestle with dual gay-Christian identities have to disassociate our love from our sex for the sex-obsessed fundamentalists, we kinksters need to be able to describe the community and enthusiast aspects of our events without leading people to being that kink-cons are just great big orgies (even if they are great big orgies … it’s all about proper messaging).

(more after the jump)

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When Your Ex Starts Doing Porn

You know what’s weird?

When you’re clicking through your daily porn feed and see a picture, thinking to yourself, “Huh, that guy looks like my ex-boyfriend D—,” and on closer inspection, realize that it is, in fact, your ex-boyfriend tied to that table and getting poked, prodded and fucked.

You know what’s even weirder?

When your ex has chosen your real life, unusually-spelled first name as his porn pseudonym. If you Google my first name you aren’t going to find that many people. An artist here, a eastern European airplane engine manufacturer there, a nonprofit doing good things over yonder. You find me, and now if you click a page or two deeper, you find my ex tied up and hanging from the rafters.

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Boy Becoming

In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away at the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.  — Michelangelo They say that […]

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blablabla ouch blablabla life blablabla sweaty

So in an effort to post more in general, even when I’m not feeling particularly creative, kinky, or otherwise cogent, I’ve decided to post more of the mundane. After all, I can’t be brilliant in every post … in fact, I’m rarely brilliant in any post. I’m just a guy from Colorado moving along in […]

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BDSM vs. The Temple of the Holy Spirit

A friend was recently challenged by someone about whether their kinky lifestyle could possibly mesh with their Christian faith. The challenger relied on the passage from I Corinthians 6 that says “don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? … so honor God with your body.” The challenge was, “isn’t […]

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