Major Changes: I’m now in 24/7 service

I have been into BDSM, especially D/s, my entire sexual life. My earliest fantasies were about kidnap and being ‘tortured’ for information. For all my teen years, I would cruise in the #GayDads4Sons IRC chat rooms, because that’s where the Dominants were, and I would cyber plus do what they told me to do to myself. That’s when I first tied a string around my balls with both ends tied to my ankles, and pulled. It’s also where I learned Icy Hot does not make good lube.

I came out of the closet toward the end of college. I met my now-husband after graduating college. After a few years he encouraged me to be honest about my submissive side, who I named rook, and was totally fine with me having these interests. But I was very slow in actually exploring it, wrestling with shame and worthiness, fear of disease or rape or getting in over my head. I learned what I could, and eventually started meeting Doms. I’ve come close to having actual Masters, with my husband’s permission, but the relationships went nowhere. Mostly I’ve just had a playful encounters here and there, trying out new things, and longing for a reality where I could be in service to a Master while still married to my supposedly vanilla husband.

Well, after 10 years together, my husband is now my Master. Literally. Our anniversary is April 1 and we went on this nice vacation to celebrate it. Nude B&B, nude beaches, some frivolity, it was a nice tropical getaway. We get home from vacation, back to the grind; I get home from work the third day after we get back (and the day after my birthday) and he says to me “I kinda want to try peeing on you.” Um, okay! He’s rarely kinky and usually just for my sake, but this was a little different. So he does, and we shower, and he says “You know, I think could be your Dom.” I said I would like that, and we talked about exploring it a little bit, maybe in the bedroom, but we kinda left it there.

Over the next four weeks, things have gotten quickly and progressively more real. We’re now in a 24/7 Master-slave situation. Mostly trying it out, seeing how it fits for us, whether it’s something that will really fit in our life long term (after 10 years as a regular vanilla couple). But it’s been quite a trip so far.

The sex has been amazing. He’s learning, and experimenting, and trying new things. He’s quickly becoming quite a good rope top. He’s given me the first inklings of protocol and house rules for when I come home from work. He is embracing the control and I’ve ceded him everything about our life. I’ve always secretly served him, and he’s remarked that he’s glad to finally get to see the whole me, and have his eyes open to all of me–and all the little elements of service I tried to build into our life before. He’s growing and learning, and I’m not sure how far this rabbit hole goes with him. He’s not sure what all he’s into yet, but at the same time he said he didn’t think he was much of a sadist, and then tied a rope around my balls just to tug and play with for the fun of it. Then he jacked off, he said, to the thought of putting me in chastity.

So, here it is. I’m now a boy in service. I have a little chain  I wear as a day collar all the time and everything. I serve him and obey. It’s been a month and things are just getting better. We haven’t formalized anything really, no contract or “permanent” collar yet. But we have a lot to learn together, and long way to go … but how far does this rabbit hole go? I can only hope it goes very, very deep. Because I’m over the moon, elated and worshipful that this man who I love, is now the Man I serve.

Comments (6)

  1. So happy to read this, and i truly wish all the best for you and your Master! If you’ve been together 10 years and are still in love and still exploring together, the prospects for this new arrangement to work are very, very good. You know each other inside and out, so there will be no horrible surprises. You already have a deep foundation of trust. And you’re going slow. What could go wrong? Nothing, really, if you keep talking and listening to each other.

    Serve him well, let him lead you, and you can go as deep down the rabbit hole as there is to go.

    with respect and very best wishes,

    Sir Brian’s slave david

  2. Thank you very much, brother. I really appreciate your note 🙂

  3. control

    Well done.
    I hope this will develop in ways that give you mutual satisfaction – and that you will find yourself going deeper than you can yet anticipate.
    Do keep us posted on how things progress.

  4. Thank You! We don’t really know what to expect but so far it’s been pretty amazing. I’ll be blogging a lot more that I have a real reason to 🙂

  5. NeXphilim

    I’m glad to see that things are getting even better for you and your couple. Have fun. 🙂

  6. Just stumbled on your blog and love what I see. I am on the same journey as you, in many ways, but we started at 16 years together and it’s slow, but fruitful. It’s very good to see you two and I look forward to reading all of it to gather more.

    Congrats and best of luck.


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